Happy Mother's Day to my amazing Mum!

It’s that time of year again when retailers tell you that you need to show mum your love by buying her some slippers, or flowers, or chocolates. Some people complain Mother's Day is too commercial, or is a rubbish ‘holiday’, but Mother's Day has always been special for me and my Mum. My birthday always falls around the week of Mother's Day, and sometimes Mother's Day even falls on my birthday. Mum always loves it when that happens and says I was the best present she could have asked for.

Now I have had children of my own it's even more special for me. I love that my daughter makes me a special card or gift, like my special necklace last year, and I love seeing the huge smile on her face when I open her secret present. I understand so much more why Mum always loved Mother's Day. But since my sisters and I became mums, mum has always told us that we need to spend Mother's Day with our own children. It's not that she doesn't want to see us, but more that she loved those years with us when we were kids so much, with memories of special breakfasts and handmade cards and gifts, that she wants to make sure we make those own special memories for ourselves with our young families. That's just how she is – she always puts her children above her own needs or wants. 

Mum has always been happy to help her children out, even now that we are all grown up. Over the years she has happily spent much of her time babysitting the grandkids, helping us catch up on washing and housework, and has always been there to listen, when we need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent our feelings to. 

In the last few years especially, Mum has done so much for me. More than anyone would expect their mum to do after they've grown up and moved out of home! 

My first pregnancy was dangerous for both me and my baby. I was sick with hyperemisis gravidarum the entire pregnancy and my husband was working 60+ hours a week, and wasn't able to take the time off to look after me. Mum came to stay for a fee weeks at the beginning of my pregnancy when I was so sick I couldn't keep anything down. My pregnancy only got worse as time went on. She ended up moving in and staying with me full time for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. I was so sick, and in such agonising pain from the ruptured disc in my back that I was told by doctors I would be hospitalised until the end of my pregnancy if I didn't have someone at home with me constantly. She never hesitated for even a moment when she assured them she would be there with me. She didn't leave me alone once. 

I was in and out of hospital 6 times in the last 3 months of pregnancy. Each admission a week at a time. She sat by my hospital bedside every day for 6 weeks. She kept me company, stopped me from dwelling on all that had gone wrong in my pregnancy and did her best to make me smile. She never complained about sitting in a hard hospital chair, and she stayed all day from 7am to 7pm. Hubby would drop her off on his way to work at 7am, and he would come and visit me in the evening after he finished work, usually around 7pm and then take her home to our house. She made friends with the nurses and they constantly told me they had never seen a mum do that before in the maternity ward. They never asked her to leave after visitors hours finished - they knew I needed her. I would hear her arrive in the morning and walk up the hallway to my bed, and I would instantly feel happier. Knowing she would be by my side each day helped me sleep easier at night. 

When we were at home she was even busier helping me, I needed full time care. She helped me get in and out of bed, and chairs, and the car. She drove for me, did my shopping for me, cleaned my house for me. I couldn't bend over so she helped me shower, shaved my legs, dried me off and helped me get dressed. She helped me survive my severe morning sickness - she emptied buckets of vomit, no complaints, and made sure I kept my fluids up so I didn't get dehydrated from the vomiting. She did her best to make me feel comfortable; she rubbed my legs when they were sore, scratched my legs and my back when they were itchy, and tried to make me as comfortable as possible. She gave me my medications, put my compression stockings on, and made me follow doctors orders and walk around for at least 5 minutes every hour – even when I cried in agony that I didn't want to. She kept my spirits up, kept me excited about becoming a mother, helped me get the house ready for the arrival of the baby – washed all baby's clothes, helped set up the nursery and even painted some of the baby furniture for me!

After the birth of my beautiful baby girl, who was healthy despite all the risks during pregnancy, mum went home. She told me she would only be just a phone call away if I needed help. 5 days later I called.

My pain didn't go away after the birth, like the doctors said it would. It got worse. So mum came back. And she carried my baby when I couldn't. She would bring her to me for feeds and rock her to sleep when I couldn't. She would put her in and out of the car, get the pram out for me because I was too weak. She even drove me to mother's group and sat away from the group, all to give me the chance to make new friends and try and feel like a normal mum. She made it possible for me to be a mum when my body was working against me. I wouldn't have coped without her by my side.

She stayed for another 5 months, until after I had had two surgeries – one for my back and one for my parathyroid. She bought Charlotte to the hospital to visit. She would send me photos and videos so I didn't miss her too much. Being separated from my newborn in those early months was awful, but she tried her best to make it as easy as possible.

She never complained. She selflessly gave up 8 months of her life so that I could become a mother. She showed me just what sacrifices a mother makes for her children. I asked her one day how I could ever repay her. She told me I didn't need to. I just had to be a good mummy to my girls and she would be happy. 

Over the last few years I have struggled so much with my diagnosis, but I've been lucky to have Mum by my side the whole time. Mum was with me the day that I was told my condition with my back was permanent. She held me tight when I screamed and cried in the car park. She cried with me. She dried my tears so many times, held my hand through so many hard times, and was always there to listen to my many complaints. She has supported me through every stage. These days I cope with my pain a lot better than I did in those early days, and yet I still need my mum. She still comes to stay regularly to help me through periods when I can't cope. She has stayed and looked after Charlotte when I have been hospitalised, had surgery or procedures, or gone to rehab or doctors appointments. She will help me with the housework if I fall behind, she will change sheets when I can't, and she'll even cook for me – and even Mum will admit she's not a great cook but she still does it when I can't. 

When my husband and I decided that we wanted to try for another baby we had to consult with a lot of different specialists to make sure it was safe. Most of all though, I had to ask Mum if she was willing to go through that all over again. There was a good chance the second pregnancy would be as bad as the first. Her answer – of course she would be there for me. Not a moment of hesitation. 

So many times around this time of year I see competitions to win prizes for your mum. They are all the same ‘in 25 words or less, tell us why your mum is the best mum in the world’. I never win. How can I sum up a lifetime of pure love and nurturing, especially the last 4 years of amazing support by putting me and my children in front of her own needs, in just 25 words? Indeed I do think my mum is the best in the world, and I am so lucky to have her in my life – I only hope I can be as good to my girls as she is to hers.

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mum.